The grass is greener on the other side...

You've heard it. It appears that the grass is greener on the other side. Since my week and 1/2 of being here I have had the opportunity to meet a few of the girls' friends. They've rang the door bell with this halo of a smile and when I open the door a breath of fresh clean air sweeps across my face. This air isn't the air of Houston, for the air outside is humid and much like that of an armpit! This air is from the darling little girls that come to visit. They never raise their voices over an "inside" voice and never talk back. They never run or jump off of the furniture and they always say their please's and thank you's. How wonderful it is when friends come for a visit! :-)
Last week seemed like it flew by, but this week has dug it's feet deep into the ground and is making it difficult to get through it. Sara and I had a rough day on Monday. She refused to clean up and I refused to let her have her way. So, an hour long battle took place of kicking, hitting, scratching, biting, and even my shirt ripped. When it was all said and done she was able to calmly talk to me and she cleaned up her mess. I was so proud of her for finally minding and excited that I was finally able to complete a punishment and talk about why things got out of hand.
Natalie has been sick all week. I'm definetly ready for her to go back to school so that I can have a quiet morning and hit the gym! I haven't been able to work out since Friday! I was off last night for a while so that I could get out of the house since I hadn't been able to leave since Sunday. I just wandered around Target and had a good long conversation with my Mimi.
I should be getting my new computer today! I am currenty sitting at the girls' computer which sits on a very small childrens desk. I have to switch sitting positions every so often so that my legs won't go to sleep!
Well, I hear Natalie stirring around, so I better be off and onto my job!

Call me Miss Linzie

It's Friday, and oh how I have been looking forward to this day for what seems like most of the week! Just a few hours left in the day and I will have officially completed my first week as a Nanny. They call me 'Miss Linzie'. It's kinda cute. I'd much rather be called 'Miss Linzie' than 'Nanny' or 'Dude', which they seem to use a lot. This week has actually flown by. It is somewhat nice to have a schedule, because it gives me a little something to look forward to. I know I have to wake up at 6:00am (though I don't really look forward to that part) and that the girls have to get on the bus at 7:30am. Then I have a few household chores, like starting the laundry and making the beds. Some mornings, I try to make the beds while the girls are putting on their clothing. I like getting everything done so that I can relax. Sara, the youngest one gets home from half-day kindergarten at 12:00. We fix lunch together and sit down and talk about her day. Then she is supposed to work in workbooks or do a learning game on the computer, but sometimes I just let her play with her barbies or dance to Hannah Montanna in her room. Sara is a very smart girl. She is 5 years old and when we play this trivia game after dinner, she usually gets the answers faster than the older two. Natalie and Jessica get homeat 3:30. Sara and I sit on the porch 30 minutes before and enjoy the sunshine while we wait for the bus to come. They are normaly starving and hit the pantry for a snack when they hit the front door. Then it's homework time. And after that-play time. The girls most always want to go outside. It's difficult going outside. It's not how I grew up and I'm not sure how to "play" outside with this small yard and limited space. We've been taking walks around the block amost every night. Jessica got Heely's (skate shoe thingy's) for her birthday last month and the other two normally ride their bikes. I'm already growing tired of the "walk around the block". The parents always suggest a walk around the block as if they were going to take them, and then look at me and say "Would you mind walking them a few times around the block to burn off some of this excitement?". But, it never works. The excitement only grows after setting foot outside. After play time is shower time and this is my most dreaded time of the day. The shower has two shower heads and so we stick Natalie and Sara in the shower and Jessica in the bath tub. When Natalie and Sara are together I can hardly control them. On Wednesday night, after being splashed with water over and over and screaming naked bodies running in and out of the shower (and me not being able to spank them!) I finally had to call for the mother, Lori, and ask if I could finish dinner while she finished bathing them. It's a difficult task, to shampoo and condition three kids at the same time. One is screaming because she has shampoo in her eye and the other is screaming because the other one looked at her while she was naked. I haven't figured out a good system to this madness yet, but instead of me putting shampoo and conditioner on their heads I've been pouring it in their hands and letting them do it by themselves. Hopefully soon they'll be able to take showers by themselves and I won't lose all of my hair! Finally, it's dinner time. This routine is rather difficult too, because rarely will everyone like the food on their plate and thus can cause many screaming, kicking, crying fits. Wednesday night I cooked lasagna and let the girls help. Everyone ate that night and I was super excited! I think it helped that they saw what went in the food and wanted to eat it because they helped make it. Alas, it's 8:00 and I tuck the girls in bed and shut the door to my room until the next day! Ahh...what a week.

" "Going of to find yourself" was the standar interpretation. I don't think that is really our point. We are shaped by our experiences. Our perception of job, fear, pain, and beauty are sharpeneed or dulled by the way we rub against time. My senses have become dull and this trip is an effort to sharpen them."-Through Painted Deserts by Donald Miller

No Tears in Heaven

So, I'm just waiting until it is time, for me to load my car and begin the road trip to Houston. I created this blog so that I could type a few things here and there, so that friends and family would know what is going on in my life without me sending out tons of really long emails. But, in the mean time, I'll let you be inspired:

I was thinking, after talking to a close friend of mine, who is not a believer and has no desire to be-- if there are no tears in heaven, will I be sad when I get there and not see all the people that I loved so dearly on earth? If I will have no sorrrow, will I not feel any emotion when I realize that some of the closest people to me on Earth are missing? All will be glory in the land, but I can't imagine it being glorious without those that I love. Will I just not feel any emotion? Will I just not even remember them?
I often wonder about the verse in 1 Cor Chapter 7:12. It says "To the rest I say this, If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband . Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy."
As it is stated, it is obviously Paul that is saying this and not the Lord. But I often wonder about this passage. If my beliefs will be strong enough to save someone else?
I wonder what will happen in Heaven, if there are no tears?

"No tears in heaven, no sorrows given, All will be glory in that land...There'll be no sadness, all will be gladness, When we shall join that happy band....

No tears....no tears, no tears up there, Sorrow and pain will all have flown....No tears, no tears up there, No tears in heaven will be known.

Glory is waiting, waiting up yonder, Where we shall spend an endless day; There with our Savior, we'll be forever, Where no more sorrow can dismay....

No tears....no tears, no tears up there, Sorrow and pain will all have flown....No tears, no tears up there, No tears in heaven will be known.

Some morning yonder, we'll cease to ponder, O'er things this life has brought to view; All will be clearer, saved ones be dearer, In Heaven where all will be made new....

No tears....no tears, no tears up there, Sorrow and pain will all have flown....No tears, no tears up there, No tears in heaven will be known."

Uff-da

As a good friend of mine would say "Uff-da!". What a week this has been! I was contacted by the family in The Woodlands and was quickly whisped away on a flight to Houston to meet the family. It was hard. What a bold thing to do, especially for me. To fly somewhere without really knowing what to expect and to stay with a total stranger for a few nights. It was complete faith, and I'm beginning to fall in love with that feeling of having complete faith all over again. It seems like it's been a while since I was able to fully live by faith and trust that my God would see me through. I ended up getting the job. They have three little girls, who have a hard time minding, and will definitely be challenging, but will have many great rewards.
I layed in bed after talking to my Mom on the phone this past Thursday night. I let a few tears stream down my face while the scenes of the whole day replayed in my mind. I found it very difficult to establish a sense of authority with the girls, as well as prove to them that I was someone who they could have fun with. I wanted them to respect me and to see me as someone who could discipline them if it called for that. I didn't want to start out being the pushover Nanny and the kids get away with everything. Thankfully, throughout the weekend once the girls finally got to see how much of a fun person I can be, began to cling to me more and more.
I'm excited about this new job and the things that the Lord has planned for me that will hopefully be revealed to me soon.

Fresh Beginnings

I've had this blog for a few weeks now and have been waiting for just the right moment to start typing away on this keyboard for my first blog. I kept waiting for something inspirational, something brilliant, something worth reading about. Nothing has came yet and I'm beginning to get very anxious to start up my blogspot. I don't know why I feel the need to have a blog. I already have a facebook account and a myspace account, which both keep me very occupied. I suppose there's something therapeutic about writing. The rythm of the keys going clickity clack and my mind traveling to many different spots all at once all to form words for my fingers to type.
I guess I should really write about something thought provoking, seeing as this is my first blog, and what a waste it would be to have my very first blog be rambling non-sense. :-)

I've had an interesting few weeks. I'm officially a college drop out. I know, how lame. Though, as much as I am heart broken that I am not at ACU with the people that I love and attempting to make something of my life, I am a little excited to see how God is working in my life right now. I'm anxious to see the plan He has for me this semester and through the summer. I'm beginning to see a little good come from all of this heartache. I've recently been on the phone doing a sort of interview with a family who has a nanny position open in The Woodlands, near Houston. This family sounds super great and it seems like a good opportunity for me to serve a loving family as well as to grow in my own personal ways. Hopefully I will find out more from this family soon.
I have been tested what seems to be a lot over the course of this new year and it's only February. From having to move away from ACU, cancelling my mission work in New Zealand, my sickley grandmother, and the death of my sweet baby cousin Baylee. Sometimes, especially in moments like these, I wonder why I continue to believe the things I believe. How can someone so great throw such awful things all in one month to me?I had in mind to serve our great God this semester with a team of awesome college kids at Southern Hills. I had in mind to serve our great God this summer in New Zealand. I often wonder why I am not being allowed to serve in those places. I tried so hard to find something pleasing to Him and to go at it with all of myself. To be dedicated to a task that would glorify Him instead of something for my own pleasure. I failed miserably and now I feel miserable.
Things are beginning to shape up a bit. I'm praying hard that I will land this nanny job. I'm praying hard that this is where He wants me to be and that He will reveal His good and perfect plan to me. All I want is to be a servant. I find myself constantly asking Him to show me what He wants of me.

"And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."1 Cor. 10:13