The Linzie Show

I can't sleep, which is not good considering I have to work the "shitty sunrise shift" tomorrow morning at a lovely 5:30am. I have restless legs and a restless mind tonight.
With reality tv everywhere on TV these days, I'm beginning to think that maybe my life is really a reality tv show. It's probably been getting some good ratings these last few weeks with all of the drama. It's like I'm living in "The Truman Show", but hah! I've finally figured it out!
I have issues with trust. I think. Looking at my life, I don't have a best friend. I've picked up and moved on an impulse decision more than just a few times. I haven't kept a job for more than a few months. And dating, well there hasn't been much of it in the past few years, but when there was, it didn't last more than a few months, if that.
I'm tired of putting on a brave face. Let's be honest and open. My parents are getting a divorce. There, I said it. It's real and it's happening. I've been in conversation a few painful times since gaining this heart-wrenching knowledge and it all boils down to bullshit. Everyone is full of it. I wouldn't blame my trust issues on my parents, for up until now, they haven't given me a reason to not put my trust in them. It just makes me realize, that in this world, and maybe I'm a little too old to be realizing this, but no one has it all together. The people in your life, even the ones you love dearly, must never be fully trusted. Satan is on the prowl and everyone is human. I've learned that if you want things to get done, you must do them yourself. You can't expect people to come through for you, because even those that say they won't, will let you down. You have to listen to your heart, follow your gut, and look to God. It's scary sometimes when you can't see what you're putting your trust in to, but your faith will carry it through.
I close my eyes tonight, and possibly for the rest of my nights, wondering what alternate reality did I grow up believing in?