SA Town Here We Come!!!

It's time to pack up again and head out for another adventure. This time it's San Antonio bound! As you may know, Starbucks is shutting down 600 stores in the US and 61 in Australia. My beautiful little store in Brownwood, TX unfortunately is falling victim as our last day will be Sept. 26th. So, sadly I'll be jobless and what a perfect opportunity to pack it all up and go stretch my legs somewhere else. This closing time is not only about Starbucks, but it's also a closing time for the camper trailer lifestyle. It's been a tough and sad decision, but I've decided to join the civilized ways of most of today and get an apartment. A college bud just took a job as the assistant basketball coach at Trinity University, so I'll be sharing a lovely little place with her. More to come, I'm sure.....

Kona Bessent

Kona is missing!! I had to go out of town for a wedding this weekend and dropped him of at my Mom's house while I was away. When I returned the next day he was nowhere to be found. I've patrolled the neighborhood and posted signs all over town. Keep this precious little guy in your prayers. I want him home!!!

I am one to dream. I dream during the day and even in the night. I've been playing a lot of music lately and I'm excited to get it out on the road and see where it takes me. As of now, I don't have a good sounding quality recording of any of my songs, but hopefully this week I'll be able to accomplish that dream. Even if it's terrible--at least it'll be accomplished. I've got a buddy from work that knows the recording ropes and has access to some equipment. We shall see....and dream...

For now you can check out a sneak peek of my first song, Move Along. It's at www.zoomoozik.com/linziebessent

-Zie

Thankfulness

Happy Thanksgiving! It is currently midnight and the very first moment of Thanksgiving day. What do I have to be thankful for this year? It has truly been the most difficult year of my life, but for its difficulties I am thankful. I'm thankful for the ways that it has shaped me, for the pain that I have endured that has and will continue to make me stronger. I am thankful for the way it brought my brothers and I closer; so close we all lived together for a short time. I'm thankful for my travels. I've gone a lot of places, seen a lot of amazing things, and met a lot of beautifully broken people. I'm thankful for returning home. Although it doesn't seem like much of a home anymore, but I am thankful for one true friend I have and for the love and "homey" feeling she has given me. I'm thankful for my visits to Abilene, though they are short, I come away feeling loved. I am thankful for my friends that are miles away, but have done an excellent job of making the distance not seem like very far. I'm thankful for my jobs. Yes, all three of them at one time. I'm thankful for my health and I'm thankful for my families health.
I am restless and tired tonight. I've been driving since Sunday, it seems. I left Sunday after work to drive to Abilene. I had a blow out on the way. It was terrible. I left Tuesday for Comanche and then on Wednesday for Rockport. I'll work Thursday, yes on Thanksgiving day, lame, I know.
...I wish I was home, wherever that may be.

Austin City Limits

I had the most amazing weekend. It was very stressful due to my dumb bank and my lost deposit, which equals no funds in my account 4 hours away from home, but God was the ultimate provider. He provided good friends, good music, and an over all GOOD time! We saw Regina Spektor, Wilco, Bob Dylan, and a lot of other smaller bands. My overall favorite was Grace Potter and the Nocturnals. Her and her band did an amazing show and that woman knows how to rock--her vocals, guitar, organ, piano, and even drums! WOW!

The Linzie Show

I can't sleep, which is not good considering I have to work the "shitty sunrise shift" tomorrow morning at a lovely 5:30am. I have restless legs and a restless mind tonight.
With reality tv everywhere on TV these days, I'm beginning to think that maybe my life is really a reality tv show. It's probably been getting some good ratings these last few weeks with all of the drama. It's like I'm living in "The Truman Show", but hah! I've finally figured it out!
I have issues with trust. I think. Looking at my life, I don't have a best friend. I've picked up and moved on an impulse decision more than just a few times. I haven't kept a job for more than a few months. And dating, well there hasn't been much of it in the past few years, but when there was, it didn't last more than a few months, if that.
I'm tired of putting on a brave face. Let's be honest and open. My parents are getting a divorce. There, I said it. It's real and it's happening. I've been in conversation a few painful times since gaining this heart-wrenching knowledge and it all boils down to bullshit. Everyone is full of it. I wouldn't blame my trust issues on my parents, for up until now, they haven't given me a reason to not put my trust in them. It just makes me realize, that in this world, and maybe I'm a little too old to be realizing this, but no one has it all together. The people in your life, even the ones you love dearly, must never be fully trusted. Satan is on the prowl and everyone is human. I've learned that if you want things to get done, you must do them yourself. You can't expect people to come through for you, because even those that say they won't, will let you down. You have to listen to your heart, follow your gut, and look to God. It's scary sometimes when you can't see what you're putting your trust in to, but your faith will carry it through.
I close my eyes tonight, and possibly for the rest of my nights, wondering what alternate reality did I grow up believing in?

Home again, home again, jaggedy heart.....

I feel dumb. I always find myself signing onto my blog when I need to vent and realign myself. I have been missing home lately. This year has been rough. My school fell through, I had a terrible working situation with a sexually harrasing boss, my "happy place" in Abilene yet again did not work, and my parents announced their divorce. The flood gates have been lifted and it seems like I just can't keep my head above water. My legs are constantly getting knocked out from under me with all sorts of different undercurrents. I'm struggling financially, emotionally, and it's beginning to take me under.
I thought by moving my problems would somehow stay. That by driving down 7 hours from what has been home for the past 2 years would magically blow out my window each mile I traveled. I felt like I would arrive to where my brothers are and I would be flushed by this sense of "home", since my family was here. I'm beginning to miss home, but also confused as to where home is. My home has been stripped down with angry words and tears and separation. My home has been loaded up in my car and traveled long Texas highways.
Growing up there was this small framed picture that hung on the wall just to the left of our pantry. The frame was wood with a light pink backing and a floral heart cut out. There was a caption on the bottom of this picture that said "Home is where the heart is". This picture is the one thing that I can remember most from my childhood. It was first in our small little rock house right in the center of Sidney. Then it hung in our home nesteled away in the woods. It is now tucked snuggly into the cloth pocket on the back of my passenger seat in my red car, Reba.